Monday, 16 July 2012

Day 197 - 198


Oh what a word :) it had me thinking in so many directions today! My initial thought was, of course, to my dh... he quite literally is my hero and the children and i have a lot to be eternally grateful to him for. Without his constant support, encouragement, love and patience, we would never have been able to start breaking free of our past. He readily accepted three "children" into his life, happily changed his entire life around for us.. of course there are days where we fight like cat and dog, something that breaks my heart every time, because i know it is just stress that is making us fight. Despite what some visitors to my blog believe/have voiced, we dont have much, but we have more than anybody could wish for: each other and hearts full of love for our family. I sometimes get bogged down and feel useless and stupid.. and i fall into the age old trap of listening to all the wrong people, taking to heart mean things that really i should give not another thought, but in those times, it is dh's words that bring me back to what really matters.. that we are a family and we have love and in our eyes, we are perfect for each other. Another little saying for those blog visitors (you know who you are): Jealousy is when you count other people's blessings instead of your own.

Anyway, dh is out working til late tonight and i dont think he will be too chuffed if i start taking photos of him when hes all tired... so i am going to show you all a photo i took of him way back in january when we took the children to a memorobilia exhibition at the NEC... meet my hero meeting HIS hero: Batman!!

So, with that out of the question as a most definite cheat, i had to look at other heroes.. i think i have quite a few.. Nelson Mandella, Dalai Lama, Buddha, Mother Theresa, Tad Williams and, of course, JRR Tolkien.. which led me to the heroes that have been with me since i was a kid.. The Lord of the rings and the hobbit have been my comfort read for as long as i can remember! I can honestly pick up a LOTR book, and it doesnt matter which page im on, i know exactly where in the book i am.. i have read both in 4 languages.. and, until i met dh, legolas has been a firm favourite to come and whisk me away! Here is one of the few books we have in this house (i bought it for 25p at the charity shop, just in case those followers are still reading my blog) I intentionally wanted a "well loved" edition, as that is pretty much the same shape my original book was in.. all battered, dog eared and truly loved.


This is still quite a strange subject for me. I used to always have my nose in a book, since i was 4 yrs old and taught myself to read! Then, when we left our old life behind, i had to of course leave all my beloved books. Now, whenever i pick up a proper book, i just cannot concentrate and even trying to read just one or two pages takes me a day or so. There are so many memories attached to books for me, i dont seem to be able to cope with them. I have tried 3 or 4 books, but soon realised that i wont ever be able to enjoy what once used to be a great hobby and stress reliever. Luckily, dh found a way around it and my viewpad allows me to get back into the world of books, without the flashbacks and bad or sad memories attached to books. So, my library consists of some old craft magazines a friend gave me and a couple of "arty" books ds2's art teacher bought for me. One book is about art journaling, but i must admit, i just can not get my head around it.